It seems that fate feels the need to remind me of the great responsibility I must endure. So many times I am called and fulfill my destiny by making sure others lives are on track and the flow of time is not disturbed, but what of my life? Is my only reason for being to see others happy, am I to have none for myself. I have to admit it gives me a great happiness to see all those I love able to achieve their dreams, but at the end of the day it is little comfort as I face the endless solitude. Sometimes I dream of being held, loved and finding my place in this world. It seems,however, that I am just an outsider... Endless observer.

I dreamed of a great fire that engulfed the planet. Should I pass this off as some superstitious fantasy, or voice my concerns. Lately I have felt the emergence of my true form, princess Pluto. It is a reminder of the awakening that begins crystal Tokyo. I do not wish to keep silent, but when I go to speak it is if a force outside myself stops me. If I say anything it could change what must be. Eternity must unfold unhindered.

My dreams, for once, are not dark and grim. There is, dare I say it, a sort of calm acceptance that has crept unbeknownst into my life. I am not sure how long it shall last, but one hopes it is not as fleeting it often is. I am in part glad of the sun that has come out to warm the snow, yet I fear that warmth as well. Too often have I been betrayed by my emotions. To give myself hope only gives the opportunity for great pain, and I have suffered my fair share of that. When will my penance be enough. Have I not kept guard and served others long enough. I wish for happiness of my own, but fear that it is not to be. All I have ever cared for has been taken from me. Do I dare to hope for something different... Ironically only time will tell.

I care not what others say of the snow. Let the world be frozen in ice, like my heart. I take comfort in the cold beauty of it all. Unique flakes cascade down and cover everything; pure and white. I stand against the cold, an iced beauty standing against the cruel and unforgiving world. Carved in stone, I am a statue that guards the eternal gates. Nothing will penetrate the heart of this guardian. Maybe once, but no flame that burns in this world could melt the Ice barrier that surrounds my heart. Forever cold as the snow, forever strong as stone, and forever alone. This is the existence of Pluto, senshi of time.

Gray fills my vision and clouds my mind with its thick, lethargic Haze. Somewhere in the distance I can see the shadows of figures past, ‘could it really be that fate is so cruel?’ I can see the outcome and it makes me feel cold, and empty, like the hallways I guard. Where is my Sun, my light of happiness in such a dark world. The only light here is the red glow of my talisman, my one constant reminder of my responsibility.

I have only come to realize that I might have had more insight into what is coming then I recently thought. Something seems to be causing a disconnection of our powers. It’s unknown just how or why this is, but if we don’t find a way to stop it or if it does not fix itself things could be very bad. I wonder what part I should play in the picture, if any.

Perhaps it is better left to ones who do the fighting. I am a mere observer, a messenger of what is to come. I sometimes feel the need to be a part of everything that is going on, more then just a distant voice. In my solitude I wonder if anything I do even makes a difference in what is to come.

Maybe what is coming shall consume all magic and I, like it shall pass into the abyss; nothing but a distant memory.

A friend came to me recently and brought up a name I haven't heard in quite a long time, Mamoru. The story between us in a complicated one and I have chosen not to talk about it except for a select few of the senshi. The mention of him made me slightly uncomfortable, and concerned. I got news that he was in the area again. His personality was obsessive, to say the least and I am unsure exactly how he would feel if he knew that I was in the area as well.

He got to me once, I was weak and younger then. I can remember some of the good times, but mostly they were bad. My only question would be how would I handle things if I ever saw him again. My advantage this time would be that I know better then to keep things from Haruka. My friends will always be there for me, and that is a great comfort.

There comes a message on the winds, I can feel it in my blood. It is a call for the Senshi to awaken. If this is merely to remind us of who and what we truly are or if there is an actual enemy on the horizon I do not know. I will be prepared for what the future holds, I shall be true to my nature. To others that have felt this surge of power that ripples the calm, balanced waters of time. I urge you to speak and let your voice be heard.

Protectors of this world
Sailor Senshi

( Forbidden Hades lyrics )

How I sometimes long for the things I once had; Love, life, hope. I look at the world and feel drawn to, yet forever separate from it. I see the people, ever ignorant of the truth that threatens to shatter their fragile existence and sometimes wish I could be like that. I know of what exists in this universe, more then even some of the other senshi, yet all knowledge has ever brought me was the feeling of being alone. I am the protector, but when the day is done there is no one for me.

Forever separate, forever alone
Eternity.

Rating: PG
Summary: Old detective story sailormoon style
Added: 08/08/07
Last Updated: 09/28/07
Status: In Progress
Title:( Private Pu detective for hire )

Rating: PG-13
Summary: Setsuna's first meeting with Endymion
Added: 07/31/07
Last Updated: 07/31/07
Status: In Progress
Title:( First Time )

Rating: PG-13
Summary: A Setsuna / Endymion story
Added: 07/30/07
Last Updated: 07/31/07
Status: Completed
Title:  ( Forbidden Love )

It has been so long since I have had to use my power, I sometimes wonder if they are still there. Deep down I know that we were reincarnated here to protect the princess fom the evil that would try and destroy the peace we are working toward. But that was so long ago, what if everything was just a dream? At times I wonder if I'm crazy and other times, when I really stop to think about it, I can't help but accept what I am; sailor senshi.

It has been ages since I've posted in this journal. Life has not always lent it self to such activities. I seem to have lost myself over the past few years but I feel that I'm slowly regaining my power. Seems funny that with the meditation and finding ones center that it brings back past memories... perhaps ones that are best forgotten. I was so busy living in the past that I couldn't concentrate on the present and then I got so caught up in the future that I was not taking with me the lessons from the past and in so doing lost myself. Now I must gain a balance between the two. This is harder then it might seem.

Happy news comes to us, but I can't help but feel wary. I continue to have the feeling of being watched, shadows from the past that I thought could not survive in the light of our current joy. Perhaps I was wrong. Did I misjudge the determination of destructiveness that this shadow feels? I can only hope that it is not as I suspect and only slight paranoia. I tend to be overprotective at times, I can't help it, it is in my nature. I have not been turning a blind eye to the darkness, the thought of it lingers in the back of my mind. It could be nothing, but it is better to be safe.

Summer break is here and it feels almost like a normal life. In the back of my mind I know what danger lies out there, but I am greatful for the rest. Haruka has been busy, and I can only imagine what is going on through Hotaru's head; She has been through the most. Funny... I still feel a slight doubt that things are truly as peaceful as they seem. 'Calm before a storm', yes, I think that sums it up quite nicely.

You would think I would have been able to get to a journal before my senior year of college. With Haruka and Michiru gone I have been living with Hotaru by myself. I sometimes miss the unity we Outer Senshi shared, but I digress.

I'm glad to finally have a journal where I can express my thoughts, I find it somewhat relaxing, now that I have a computer of my own.